More Questions

Monday November 19th:

I had taken a few steps outside my door today with the intention of going for walk when I instantly turned back towards the house. When I was reminded that the brilliant sunshine was making me squint, I thought I had better go back to look for my sunglasses.

I looked in all the usual places but no sign of them. I was on the point of giving up and saying this is a waste of time and a waste of the precious sunshine which I was eager to get out into when suddenly I found myself hovering around the magazine rack in my sitting room and then the memory came to me instantly, of about a week or two ago, of tidying out my bag and putting my reading glasses into their case and then I put something on top of the magazine rack which fell down at the back of it.

Now the magazine rack is almost up against the wall, but not fully so, thereby creating a little gap for something to fall off it. The rack is only small and light with a fairly narrow table top so it’s easy for something to fall off it. I could suddenly recall having said to myself at the time, you should pick that up now while you think of it because chances are if you don’t, you’ll forget about that and then be looking for it at some later stage. This little inner prompting was instantly ignored by a kind of lazy, ah I’ll do it later type of attitude; Just a stubborn refusal to budge. It would have taken half a second to lean over and pick up whatever it was that had fallen. Such a small thing to do and such a small thing to write about and in case any of you might admonish me for being too hard on myself, which is a very new age kind of love yourself type of thing that’s preached at people these days for good old fashioned examination of conscience, I would maintain that it is vital to be ruthlessly honest with ourselves, not beating oneself up as people might call it but recognizing every small little action has a result, and the result might not be to my ultimate benefit.

At the stage I was looking today, all I knew was that I had dropped something at the back of the magazine rack and that it may or may not be the sunglasses. Anyway I was thrilled when I found them; that usual sort of pleasure you get from finding something you’ve lost, but also thrilled for another reason because to me it represented a lesson that life was trying to teach me and which I’ve already written about a few days ago in this blog about following that instinct to do what I’m being prompted to do at the time, rather than say, oh yeah, I’ll do it in a minute.

Now when I write about doing instantly what I’m being prompted to do in the moment, I must equally recognise that this does not mean doing everything I’m being prompted to do in the moment. This is where the spiritual practice of discernment comes in and unlike the prompting mentioned above to follow a simple inner command to pick up the glasses now, or sit down and write now, I must equally distinguish between other types of instant action that is more to do with reaction and making assumptions without first finding out the facts, the type of instant reactions that lead to arguments and misunderstandings which we may later regret and while I’m on this topic, I find myself asking the question does failure in one area lead to failure in another area. If one is used to giving in to one’s whims and not having sufficient will power, does it lead to lack of control in one’s emotional life, over reacting, judging, flying off the handle, taking things personally and making assumptions.

So a while back I was in a book shop and lifted up a book simply called Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney. You may agree or disagree, but something in this description makes me feel I’m being pointed in the right direction.

The description of the book on Amazon is as follows;

Pioneering research psychologist Roy F. Baumeister collaborates with New York Times science writer John Tierney to revolutionize our understanding of the most coveted human virtue: self-control. Drawing on cutting-edge research and the wisdom of real-life experts, Willpower shares lessons on how to focus our strength, resist temptation, and redirect our lives. It shows readers how to be realistic when setting goals, monitor their progress, and how to keep faith when they falter. By blending practical wisdom with the best of recent research science, Willpower makes it clear that whatever we seek—from happiness to good health to financial security—we won’t reach our goals without first learning to harness self-control.

A strong man masters others. A truly wise man masters himself.

Taoist saying