A Little Bit of Humour Helps

Sunday 2nd December

I’ve already said how Saturday was a bleak day for me, and so I approach Sunday gingerly. I did not sleep all night long, not a complaint I normally have.

I’m not sure whether disaster awaits me. I have convinced myself that from the way the computer was acting last night, and the fact that I had to unplug it and reboot, I’m convinced that I have probably lost everything, but all I’ve lost was just the one short piece of work I was typing when it crashed.

I say a short pleading prayer of desperation, all the time thinking of Peter McVerry’s no nonsense attitude to people who wish God to do their bidding, ‘God is not a magician’, he’s saying this in the context that miracles prove nothing, and that the God that Jesus reveals is a God of compassion and that we can’t shape him around our whims and desires, but I earnestly plead that today will be a better day than yesterday and that some of the problems I was having yesterday will be resolved. I’m hoping and praying for this positive outcome and not really believing that things will be better today, so you can’t say that this is mind over matter, or just luck or chance, because beyond my wildest expectations, everything today is better than fine, and not only that, I eventually after much blood and tears and toil and sweat at last I’ve managed to find the elusive setting to edit the blog which had so defeated me yesterday.

Technology is wonderful and has many benefits, but I have to admit I had to go kicking and screaming into the twenty first century. The pace of change has been relentless, but it helps to have a sense of humour as well of course as a little bit of Divine intervention and so I dedicate this poem to the person who gave me not only IT training but a wonderful life coaching session which helped me on my journey, so thank you Richard.


The Soft Return

For the purposes of writing my poetry,
I ask Mr. Richard Butler, ECDL tutor,
life coach,and neuro linguistic programmer,
“how do I avoid capitalising the first word
of each new line?

“Just hold down the shift key and press return,
it’s called a soft return, you could also back space
in front of the first letter.”

Well the back space I’d figured out
myself, Richard
but I do not like the little green squiggle
that follows the back space option,
I prefer your soft return
it is simply more efficient,

it cuts to the chase Mr. Butler,
ECDL tutor, life coach and neuro linguistic programmer.
So as I sit in a class of twenty or thereabouts
we watch the miracle of technology unfold

Your voice rises above the din,
the mumbo jumbo of almost
twenty competing voices,
your strong vocal tone and superb diction
happily transcending this babble of bedlam

“Just click in any white space,
check where your insertion point is “
to a ripple of suggestive titters
enjoyed and taken by you good humouredly
“and remember garbage in and garbage out”

On and on we go
on our voyage of discovery
megabyte, gigabyte, kilobyte,
bits and bytes
and not forgetting poor old
lan and wan


Now, since we’re Dubs
mention of Wan
leads to the smart ass quip
“Who’s your wan”?

While realising the microchip was surely
the greatest invention of the 20th century ,
I have come to realise alas
that for some of us who arrived
before it’s invention, the joy of this ECDL
course has not been without its moments of anguish,

I’ve been known to let fly the odd oath or two,
“Rachael is your poetry always full of profanities?
You say this in amused astonishment
until you decide that
a stern look and a single utterance of RACHAEL
might be a better strategy;

Oh, it does the trick alright
you know what you’re about don’t you?
Mr. Richard Butler, ECDL tutor,
life coach and neuro linguistic programmer;

Now the awful words swim around
my head, examination words like
ICS-skills.net, oh and I forgot to mention
ram and rom and that’s before I get my head around
diagnostic and invigilator,

and of course, the day of reckoning comes,
the test
“now click start, off you go and good luck”.

With trembling fingers and thudding heartbeat
I dare not look, but the message of success
flashes on the screen
Congratulations, you passed

So, here’s to you, Mr. Richard Butler,
ECDL tutor, life coach and neuro linguistic programmer
I raise my coffee cup to you and your soft return.

ECDL: European Computer Driving Licence (Yes that’s me in the driving seat)

LAN: Local Area Network
WAN: Wide Area Network
BITS AND BYTES: I suggest you google this otherwise we might be here all day
DUBS: Short for Dubliners
WHO’S YOUR WAN? An old Dublin witticism uttered when someone is perceived to be getting a bit above themselves.

NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methods_of_neuro-linguistic_programming